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(4) Pearls of Life

 Check Out the Back Door

 Of course there’s always the obvious route to getting what you want-such as persuading your boss to let you have a company car-but that’s the bit you don’t want to have to do. Well OK, let’s find another way round it then. Maybe what you really want is that swanky Mercedes to impress your friends with. But there are other ways to get one. Perhaps you could apply for a promotion to a job that comes with a car. Not likely to happen just yet? Alright then, how about a pay raise (more lately on how to get that) and use the extra money to upgrade your own car.

Or you could do some extra work-freelance for your own company or get a second job-to earn the extra you need. Or use any contacts in the motor trade to find a really cheap car for sale, or one you can fix up. You see, if you think creatively there’s often another way to get what you’re after. So don’t give up-get thinking.

Don’t Make Excuses

It’s difficult when you’re trying to deal with people who don’t want to cooperate. And actually it’s tough trying to meet any kind of deadline if you work long hours. Not to mention the problems of trying to free up an evening when you have kids. Or give up smoking just when life is getting particularly stressful. Or lose weight over the holidays. Or… shush! Enough! I’ve heard them all before! Look, I don’t care if you don’t do this. It’s not me who wants the new job/better relationship/more attention/white wedding/holiday/girlfriend/baby/fantastic body. Either you want it or you don’t. If you want it, you’ll look for reasons why you can, not reasons why you can’t. Want to know why some people always seem to get what they want?

It’s because they don’t sit around making excuses and hoping it will just manifest out of thin air while they’re waiting. They do it despite all the obstacles that could deter them. They get their heads down, and they don’t take no for an answer. So let’s have no more excuses. If it were easy you’d already have what you want. The whole point is that it’s difficult. If we let that put us off, we’ll never get anywhere. Alright, lecture over. That’s better. Pull yourself together, and let’s get down to business.

Think Positive

The last point should have shown you where negative thinking gets you. Yep, that’s right, nowhere. If what you want is big, or important, or difficult, or daunting, your biggest challenge may be the psychological one. Most wants that are at all realistic are potentially achievable, but if you let yourself be put off, you’re far less likely to get there. In fact you may never even start. You’ll make excuses, procrastinate, avoid the tricky bits and generally never really give the thing a decent shot.

It’s important to get yourself into the right frame of mind. A positive frame of mind. Don’t give yourself permission to be pessimistic about the outcome. Don’t allow yourself to go through scenarios in your mind that involve you failing at this, or being too late for that, or just missing out, or being told you haven’t earned/won/got what you want. As soon as your mind starts to head that way, be firm. Tell yourself, “No.” That kind of thinking is forbidden, banned, verboten.

Instead think about your aim, consider all the points you have on your side, reflect on how far you’ve come, and think about how good it will be when you finally get what you want. Remind yourself of all the times you-and others-have got what they want despite obstacles and challenges, and list all the reasons why you should succeed.

Positive thinking isn’t something that only positive people can do. It’s quite the other way around. Positive people are so because they choose to think positive thoughts.

Don’t Hang Out with Naysayers

I knew a young man who was offered a job in London. I don’t know if you know London, but I can tell you that if you’ve grown up in the country it’s a big, scary place. He was pretty daunted by the prospect of coping with the underground trains, finding his way around and sorting out somewhere to live. But the job was just what he wanted, and he was really enthusiastic.

Until he went home and told his best friend all about it. His best friend was worried. “How on earth will you cope with the overcrowded Tube trains? Where will you live? You’ll never find your way around. What if you can’t afford to live? London is really expensive. I wouldn’t go there, man…” and so on and so on. Well, no surprises, the young man decided not to take the job. He was disappointed, but that was easier than facing up to all those scary possibilities. And where did he go wrong? Well, he knew perfectly well how his friend would react really. It wasn’t out of character. He’d have been better off finding someone else to talk to, someone who would have said, “What a fantastic opportunity! And London’s such an exciting place to live. You’ll get used to so many people and finding your way around within a couple of days, and you’ll have such a great time….”

If you’re feeling negative or daunted by the challenges of getting what you want, don’t hang out with people who will confirm those negative thoughts. Head for the people you know will build you up and help you to feel positive.

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HRM The King Albert, HRM The Queen Paola,  HRM The Queen Fabiola, HRM The King Philippe , HRM The Queen Mathilde, The President of Brazil Dilma and The President of European Commission Durao Barroso (Brussels) 

 

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