Self-control is closely related to discipline. If you have one, you have the other. I like to say that self-control and discipline are friends that will help you do what you don’t want to do, so you can have what you say you want to have. It is obvious that God has given us the fruit of self-control because He expects us to control ourselves. It is inaccurate for a person to say, “I can’t control myself.” The truth is that they could if they wanted to. People cannot change unless they face the truth about where they are, so all excuses have to cease and they must take responsibility in these areas we are discussing. Begin thinking and saying, “I am a disciplined and self-controlled person.”
The apostle Peter wrote about several positive qualities we need to develop, including diligence, faith, virtue, and knowledge (see 2 Peter 1:5). He then went on to urge us: “And in [exercising] knowledge [develop] self-control, and in [exercising] self-control [develop] steadfastness (patience, endurance), and in [exercising] steadfastness [develop]… Christian love” (2 Peter 1:6, 7). Showing love for people is the will of God and should be every Christian’s goal. It is apparent from what the Bible says that the exercise of self-control is necessary in order for us to reach that goal.
To live with self-control means to exercise restraint. Restraint is not always fun, but the Bible presents it as an admirable thing to do. In Proverbs 1:15, when King Solomon writes to his son about how to live with sinners all around, he simply counsels, “My son, do not walk in the way with them; restrain your foot from their path” (emphasis mine). Obviously, this is good advice for the young man. Proverbs 10:19 notes, “In a multitude of words transgression is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is prudent” (emphasis mine). Here, we see that restraining ourselves is part of being wise. It’s also part of having good common sense, as we see in Proverbs 19:11: “Good sense makes a man restrain his anger, and it is his glory to overlook a transgression or an offense” (emphasis mine). Obviously, restraint has many benefits and learning to practice it will serve us well in every aspect of our lives.
We must teach our children to exercise restraint in their lives, for if we don’t, there will always be trouble. Eli, the Old Testament priest, allowed his sons to do whatever they wanted to do-and the things they wanted to do were sinful. As a result, God made this pronouncement about Eli’s family: “I will judge and punish his house forever for the iniquity of which he knew, for his sons were bringing a curse upon themselves [blaspheming God], and he did not restrain them” (1 Samuel 3:13). Because Eli did not restrain his sons who were sinning, a curse came upon his house forever. That’s a high price to pay, and Eli could have avoided it and had blessings upon his house, had he disciplined his children.
Many times, we fail to discipline our children because we are not disciplined ourselves. Only a disciplined parent will do what is necessary to properly discipline their children. Don’t wait until your children are teenagers and then wish they were disciplined. We never get what we desire by wishing; we have to practice the disciplines that are necessary in order to obtain what we want. It is amazing the difference in children who have been regularly and properly disciplined compared with those who have not. It is actually unpleasant to be with undisciplined children for a long period of time. They constantly have to be told over and over what to do and what not to do. Undisciplined children interrupt when people are having conversation; they make messes for others to clean up, and are generally obnoxious in their behavior. As parents, we would be wise to do the work we need to do on the front end of raising our children so we can enjoy them for many, many years to come.
As the leader of a large organization, I sometimes become weary of correcting people over and over who are under my authority. Often, simply forgetting or overlooking a matter would be much easier than dealing with it. But, I discipline myself to discipline others, because I know they may not learn to be disciplined otherwise-and I know that discipline will not only solve my problem at the time, it will also reap a good harvest in the lives of those on the receiving end if they receive it with a good attitude. Of course there are always times to be merciful and just overlook mistakes, but if they are made out of negligence or occur repeatedly, that usually means it is time to confront.
Many people are not interested in restraint or self-control; and discipline certainly isn’t a popular concept. People tend to prefer living by the motto, “If it feels good, do it.” The problem is, that just doesn’t work! I don’t believe I am exaggerating to say the world could well be in the worst condition it has ever been in right now, and people enjoy more supposed “freedom” than at any other time in history.
Human rights and true godly freedom is a wonderful thing, but to think that “freedom” means we can do whatever we want to do whenever we want to do it is to invite disaster into our lives. I believe God knew what He was talking about when He encouraged us to be disciplined. Discipline is a good thing.
Increase the discipline in your life, and you’ll see what I mean. Think of areas in your life that you want to see improve; it could be finances, health, better organization in your life, how you think or what you talk about, or any number of things. Now say, “I am a disciplined and self-controlled person and I will do my part to get my life in order.”
Think about It
Do you believe you exercise appropriate self-control? In what area do you most need to improve your ability to restrain or discipline yourself?
