Self-help – At home

We all have our own ways of dealing with depression. Suggestions are divided into the following:

• At home

• At work

• With other people

• At night.

Look through these and try some until you find something useful.

At home

General

• If you are stuck, try to choose basic activities that you know you can do, not major challenges, which would be difficult at the best of times.

• In India they have laughing clubs. Try it on your own. Laughing, if you can, does help.

• If you’re feeling bogged down, and everyone you know seems to irritate you, try to spend time among people you don’t know, who won’t be intrusive. Sometimes it’s easier to confide in a neutral stranger.

• Take one bit of the day at a time, perhaps just until lunch or tea time. Don’t think too far ahead. (One whole day at a time may seem too much.)

• Just for the time being, put your emotional problems on hold. Get back into them later on when you recover. Try to visualize the problem being put in a box that you have put on a shelf to deal with later. It will keep it confined, but not forgotten.

• Forgive yourself. Remind yourself that you are not a bad person.

• Keep a diary. Write it down. Get it out on paper. Defining it with pen and ink may help you stop dwelling on it and move on. If it’s really bad stuff, writing it out and then destroying it can sometimes help.

Hobbies

• Music helps many people. Really listen to music, both old favourites and something new.

• Reading is good. If you can’t concentrate on something serious escape into something lighthearted. It doesn’t matter whether it’s pulp fiction, Harry Potter or P.G.Wodehouse. Don’t tackle anything too gloomy until you’re strong enough for it: Dostoevsky isn’t a good idea when you’re feeling low. Re-reading a favourite book can be like meeting an old friend. If your concentration is poor, knowing the plot already will make the read easier.

• Put a silly game on the computer, but not all night.

• Mess about in the garden. Plant something if the weather permits; and then you can look after it and watch it grow, a curiously satisfying experience. Pot plants indoors can be equally rewarding.

Relaxation

• Take a long bath by candlelight. Get some of those soothing scented bathroom candles.

• Get a really funny classic video out. Allow yourself to have a good laugh watching it.

• Sing along to your favourite record – even if you’re tone deaf! Sing in your car if you don’t want to make too much noise at home. Singing uses your chest and diaphragmatic muscles, gets your circulation going, blows away the cobwebs, and is surprisingly relaxing.

• Find out how to meditate. Evening classes are often run by local authorities. If you are feeling too low to meditate, read something out loud.

• Concentrate on enjoying the comic strip in your newspaper; leave the serious stuff for later. There’s enough sadness in the world.

Exercise

• Get some exercise. Go to the gym, walk, run or cycle. Do it every day, just for 20 minutes is a good start. Don’t take it too seriously; just try to get out of breathe a little.

• Practice dancing. Start off on your own. It doesn’t matter if you aren’t too elegant – who’s looking anyway?

• Set yourself a small task, such as an easy piece of housework – perhaps clearing out an old cupboard – and actually do it. Enjoy the feeling of accomplishment. Then do a slightly larger task. Paint the kitchen ceiling, or clear out the garden shed.

• Springclean (even if it’s the autumn). Get rid of a box full of stuff that you know you’ll never use or wear again. Give it to a charity shop, or put it out for recycling. Then stand back, admire the space you’ve cleared, and enjoy the feeling that somebody else will benefit from your donation.

Diet

• Look after your nutrition. Eat regularly and properly – sometimes it’s easier to eat little and often. Don’t stuff yourself with comfort food, but allow yourself an occasional treat – even if it is junk food. Cheat sometimes – have a ready meal to save time and bother.

• Be careful about alcohol. Drinking heavily or regularly makes depression worse. Antidepressants can also alter how a drink will affect you. Antidepressants cannot work effectively if you are drinking anything more than just modest amounts.

• Cook yourself a special recipe. Next time, ask a friend to join you.

Treats

• Treats are very important! Give yourself a treat: buy yourself something you like. The treat does not have to be costly – a special soap or shampoo can be a treat.

• Be a bit special for a while – look after yourself more. Don’t take yourself for granted.

• Chocolate is rumoured to have a mild antidepressant effect. Perhaps this could one of your treats.

• Buy yourself some flowers.

Getting help

• If things are really bad and you feel like harming yourself in some way, don’t be on your own. Make sure there are other people around. Make human contact, by phone if not in person.

• Keep in touch with your doctor. Work with him or her. Don’t miss appointments, even if you feel too tired or ill to go. If you feel you aren’t making progress or getting anywhere, say so. Ask for further help, maybe a medication review or a further opinion. If you are not progressing adequately, this is nobody’s fault; the problem needs to be addressed.

If you are on medication:

• Take it consistently (the same time each day) and persistently (for as long as directed).

• Find out from your doctor what side-effects may occur, and what to do if they do.

• Don’t stop taking medication or change dosage without taking your doctor’s advice.

• Ask about mixing medication. If you need to take anything else (even cold remedies – these can interact with some antidepressants), ask your chemist or doctor . Ask about alcohol if you need to.