Do most breast cancer survivors need help in dealing with sexual changes after breast cancer?

Each woman reacts differently to the sexual changes that accompany breast cancer diagnosis, treatment, and survivor-ship.

 

Many benefit from the help that sexual medicine specialists, counselors, and/or therapists offer (in addition to the expert advice that they receive from their primary healthcare providers and oncologists).

The specialist will likely have encountered the same issue when working with other survivors. He or she will be aware of the fastest, safest, and most successful strategies to address changes in sexual desire, vaginal dryness, and physical discomfort during sex, or orgasm difficulties.

Magnolia Myrick:

I was in my 40s when the diagnosis came, single, not menopausal, sexually active in theory, if not in practice, at that moment.

If you’re single, first you worry about the dating, and then you worry about the sex. I was seriously worried about losing my sex drive and/or my sex appeal. The cancer’s bad enough, but I’ve got to lose my “mojo” too?

Please. I was totally unprepared for this, and my healthcare providers didn’t bring it up until I asked. Perhaps they, understandably, didn’t want to burden a patient with more not so great news than she was already dealing with.

 I’m going to go into menopause because of chemotherapy? A doctor didn’t tell me that-a friend did. That’s a pretty big piece of information. So, menopause . . . a common symptom is vaginal dryness, which can cause pain during intercourse. After several months of abstinence, I became sexually active again about halfway through the 4-month chemo treatment. Ouch! I had no idea the vagina would not only be drier but would lose some of its elasticity. (I know, but I had enough to think about already.)

The good news is that it doesn’t have to stay that way. Apart from the lubricants and moisturizers, you can also use vaginal dilators and good old-fashioned dildos and vibrators to keep yourself in sexual shape. (The Internet is full of sources for this things-it’s a riot!)

My gynecologist, however, ordered the dilators. I was mortified to broach the sexuality subject with a healthcare provider, let alone my oncologist, but I was even more mortified at the prospect of a crummy sex life and refused to accept it. “Use it or lose it,” my doctor said, and keeps those “neural pathways” open and flowing. In other words, keep having orgasms, self-induced or otherwise. Now that’s my kind of prescription.

If your doctor is less than enthusiastic about discussing this and offering practical (if embarrassing) advice, then ask to be referred to someone who is. The specialists-physicians, therapists, or counselors-tend to talk about sex very matter-of-factly, like it was the laundry or something, and it makes you able to discuss it matter-of-factly also (almost!).

 Each woman reacts differently to the sexual changes that accompany breast cancer diagnosis, treatment, and survivorship.