Mastectomy and Reconstruction – Expanders after Breast Cancer
My scars are erotic. Am I normal?
Yes, scars can be erotic, and the area may have heightened sensitivity. Having concern about your scar being erotic is also normal. Discuss your concerns with your provider and your partner!
You have discovered a new sexual and exciting part of your body-embrace, rather than fight, the feelings.
Each touch may feel different, so remember to teach your partner about what types of touch feel sexy and what types are unwelcome or painful. With education, your partner may be excited about your new-found erogenous area.
My husband hasn’t made any effort to see me naked since the surgery? Why?
Many women and their partners are shy about exploring their bodies after surgery, chemotherapy, or radiation.
There may be heightened sense of fear about the unknown. A woman should get familiar with her new body, including missing breasts and scars. Look in the mirror at the new you.
Embracing the changes is often the first step toward self-acceptance! If you are uncomfortable around your partner, try sexy lingerie or some other type of revealing coverings.
Take new experiences slowly.
Communicate openly. If you have hit a road block, professional counseling may be needed.
Often couples gradually return to sexual function, but sometimes the progress is slow and steady.
There is no guideline about how long it will take you and your partner to become comfortable with your new body or scars.
Every woman’s experience of cancer is unique and different.
Seek help if necessary.
Magnolia Myrick:
Fortunately, this wasn’t an issue for me, but I realize it is for others. I asked a male friend who had divorced in his 50s and dated about seventy-two thousand women until he remarried a few years later. Yes, he said that he had been with women who had had both single and double mastectomies, some with reconstruction and some without. “Look,” he said, “that has nothing to do with being sexy.
Being sexy is all in the mind. It’s an attitude.” He could not have been more emphatic about it. “And if a mastectomy bothers him, then he’s wrong.”
All righty then and I agree wholeheartedly. Now if you’re dating him, tell him that you need to work through the problem and seek therapy, and/or maybe you just need to move on! If you’re married to him, you’ve got to get resolution. He might need counseling. Ask your doctor and your friends (or have him ask) if there are sexual therapists who have experience with cancer and body-image issues.
Many women and their partners are shy about exploring their bodies after surgery, chemotherapy, or radiation
