Transform Your Mind, Change Your Brain
Positive people in the workplace
Good friends are good for your health.
– Dr. Irwin Sarason
Just about every organization has some negative people working there. And sometimes you have to interact and work alongside these people. But don’t go out of your way to spend time with these prophets of gloom and doom.For instance, if you frequently have lunch with negative people at work, stop having lunch with them! All they’re doing is filling your mind with negativity. You can’t perform at your best if you allow these people to dump their negative garbage into your mind. There’s no need to be nasty or to tell them off. You should be able to find a diplomatic way of distancing yourself from this “poisonous” group.
Instead, take charge. Be proactive. Make it a point to eat at your desk… to take a client out to lunch… or to sit at a different table in the cafeteria. Do whatever you have to do to make lunch a positive experience.
Make no mistake about it. Positive people are welcomed in any organization… and negative people are hurting their chances for advancement. The problem of negative workers has gotten so bad that I recently got a brochure in the mail announcing a full-day seminar entitled “How to Legally Fire Employees with Attitude Problems!”
The business community is waking up to the fact that when it comes to productivity in the workplace, attitude is all!
Choose Your Friends Wisely
As I say, “Tell me who you hang out with and I’ll tell you who you are.” If you’re serious about getting a raise or a promotion at work… succeeding in your own business… or improving yourself as a human being, then you have to start associating with people who can take you to the next level.
As you increase your associations with nourishing people, you’ll feel better about yourself and have renewed energy to achieve your goals. You’ll become a more positive, upbeat person – the kind of person others love to be around. I used to think it was important to associate with positive people and to limit involvement with negative people. Now, I believe it’s essential if you want to be a high achiever and a happy individual.
So, surround yourself with positive, nourishing people – they’ll lift you up the ladder of success.
Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
The audience listening to motivational speaker Gil Eagles, little did I know that one sentence was about to change our life’s.
Gil Eagles gave a marvelous presentation that day. He had many valuable things to say. But there was one line – one absolute gem – that stands out. Here’s what he said: “If you want to be successful, you must be willing to be uncomfortable.”
I’ll never forget those words. And Gil was right on the money. To achieve your goals and realize your potential, you must be willing to be uncomfortable – to do things that you’re afraid to do. That’s how you develop your potential!
Sounds so simple, doesn’t it? And yet, what do most people do when they face a frightening situation or new activity? They back away from the fear. They don’t take action. I know… And I can tell you without hesitation that it’s a losing strategy.
Show me a successful person and I’ll show you someone who confronts his or her fears and takes action!
Examining Our Fears
Have you ever been afraid or anxious before trying a new or challenging activity? Has that fear ever stopped you from taking action? I’m sure you’ve been paralyzed by fear at one time or another in your life. I know I have. That’s simply part of being human.
Of course, every person has a different fear threshold. What frightens one person to death might have little impact on someone else. For example, to some, speaking in public or starting a new business is scary. Others might be fearful about asking someone for directions… or for a date. Regardless of how trivial or silly you believe your fears may be, this lesson applies to you.
When I talk about fear, I’m not referring to physical risks that might injure you or endanger your health, such as diving off cliffs in Acapulco or bungee jumping. I’m scared of those things, too – and I have no plans to do either of them. What I’m talking about here are those challenges that stand in the way of your personal and professional growth. These are the things that scare you – but which you know are necessary if you’re going to get what you want in life.
Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.
– Marie Curie
The Comfort Zone
When you’re gripped by fear and anxiety, it’s usually because you’re stepping out of your comfort zone. Let’s take some time to discuss this important concept – and how it relates to your success and the development of your potential. Each of us has a comfort zone, a zone of behavior that is familiar to us and where we feel comfortable and safe. Think of your comfort zone as the inside of a circle. The activities and situations that lie inside the circle are non-threatening and familiar. They’re routine, part of your everyday life – the things you can do with no sweat. In this category are tasks such as speaking to your friends or co-workers or filling out the daily paperwork at your job.
However, you occasionally face experiences or challenges that are outside your comfort zone. These are represented by the “Xs” (X-Terrified; X-Slightly Afraid). The farther the “X” is from the circle, the more afraid you are to participate in that activity.
When faced with something outside your comfort zone, you suddenly feel nervous. Your palms become sweaty and your heart pounds. You begin to wonder, “Will I be able to handle it?
“Will others laugh at me?
“What will my friends and relatives say?”
As you look at the mental diagram, what does the “X” represent for you? In other words, what fear is holding you back from reaching the next level of success or fulfillment in your life?
Is it fear of approaching new prospects?
Is it fear about changing careers?
Is it fear about learning new skills?
Is it fear of going back to school?
Is it fear of telling other people what’s on your mind?
Is it fear of public speaking?
Whatever that “X” represents for you, just be honest and admit it. My guess is that thousands, if not millions, of people have the very same fear you have! In fact, let’s take a closer look at what most people are afraid of.
The Most Common Fears
If during a presentation, I distribute index cards to the audience members and ask them to write down, anonymously, the fears that are standing in the way of their professional and personal growth. Then, I collect the cards and read them aloud.
What do you think people write on those index cards? In most audiences, regardless of profession or geographical location, the same answers can come up again and again. Here are some of the most common fears they identify:
1. Public Speaking or Giving Presentations. In virtually every group, this is the #1 fear. The vast majority of people are terrified about speaking in front of a group of people.
2. Hearing the word “NO” or having their ideas rejected. This response is very common among salespeople, especially those who make cold calls.
3. Changing Jobs or Starting Their Own Business. Over the years, I’ve noticed that more and more people are listing this fear. We have a lot of unhappy workers in corporate world today, and they yearn for a more satisfying work environment… but they’re afraid to do anything about it!
4. Telling Managers or Executives “Negative News” (what the managers or executives don’t want to hear). This one is self-explanatory.
5. Talking to People in Upper Management. Many entry-level workers and even managers are terrified about speaking to executives in the company. They even hesitate to make “small talk” with the president or CEO of their organization – for fear they’ll say something silly or appear stupid.
6. Fear of Failure. Those who won’t try something new for fear that it won’t work out.
Well, are you surprised by any of the fears on this list? Do you have any of them now – or have you had them in the past? The truth is, the overwhelming majority of people experience these fears at some point in their lives.
And if you have some fears that weren’t on this list, don’t worry about it. You are stronger than any of your fears… and you can overcome them!
