Finding Truth, the Correct Questions, Be Objective, Look at ALL Sides
Be Objective
Your credibility is vital. No one is going to come around to your way of thinking if they don’t trust your judgment. They won’t agree to drop the asking price, or move up the launch date, or invest in a new sports arena, or send you to a training course, just because you want it. They need to believe that it’s actually the right thing to do.
This means that you must avoid giving subjective judgments. Don’t say something is “great” or “best.” Be specific about it: It’s the most accurate this or the cheapest that or the fastest something or other. And it’s not “incredibly fast,” its “capable of speeds up to 95mph.” These are objective measures that you should be able to back up. They’re not just your opinion. That gives them clout.
So when you approach someone to talk about giving you what you want, make sure you have with you all the data you could need to back up these objective claims of yours. Don’t wait to be asked. Show you’ve done your research and volunteer the results. Demonstrate clearly why the asking price is too high, or sales will benefit from a March launch, or schools with modern sports facilities are more successful than those without, or how people with this training can contribute to their organizations.
Now you look like a real expert on the subject, instead of someone with a personal motive.
Give Them an Excuse to Make an Exception
Sometimes you need someone to give you something that goes against their normal actions, or risks undermining a principle of theirs, or may set a precedent they wouldn’t want set. When this happens you need to help them find an excuse to say yes to you and still say no at other times that suit them. They might come up with their own excuse of course, but why bother? For them it’s as easy to say no. You’re the one with the vested interest here, so you’d better do the hard work.
Give Them an Excuse to Make an Exception
Maybe your mother feels that if she comes on vacation with you to help with the kids she’ll have to do the same for both your siblings, and that’s too much of a commitment. Perhaps management has already stipulated that it won’t take on any new staff. You need to help it change its minds-and what it needs is an excuse for making an exception in this case.
Try telling your mother, “I realize it’s a lot of your time, and we could always cope fine when we had two children, same as Jack and Rachel cope with theirs. But now that we have the twins as well it’s more than double the work….” There’s a justification she can use if Jack or Rachel asks why she doesn’t come on their vacations as an unpaid babysitter.
When it comes to your proposal to management, explain that you agree staffing levels should be kept to a minimum. But this case is different. Two extra, experienced staff to work with the new software can free up four people to sell full time, so the increase will pay for itself in the first three months.
If you can think of a reason for making you the exception to the rule, and one that they can then use on anybody else who asks for the same thing, you’re in the best possible place for them to say yes to you.
Solve Their Problems
So now you’ve worked out what might stop them saying yes, you need to come up with a plan to counteract their objection. This isn’t difficult; although you might need to get creative. Suppose your neighbor might say no to babysit regularly so you can go to an evening class. What’s her reason, do you reckon? She doesn’t want to commit that much time? Well, how about you offer to do something for her to compensate-if you mowed her lawn every weekend she’d get back the time she gave you. Or you could promise to have the kids in bed before she arrives, so she can use the time to get on with her own stuff.
Why would your boss say no to send you to a particular course? Maybe she can’t justify the cost in the current economic climate. Or perhaps she’d have to clear it with her boss, and she knows that will be a pain. So you need to work out how the company will get its money back through the increase in your value. And perhaps for good measure you should put together a well-researched written report on the benefits, so your boss can pass it straight on to her manager. Then it’s down to your powers of persuasion and she doesn’t have to argue the case herself.
Getting the picture? Listen; if you want this thing enough you can be creative about removing the other person’s objections to helping you. Then how are they going to say no?
Next: Read the Clues
