I’m sure you can tell by now that I believe some of life’s greatest challenges involve or result from the ups and downs of our emotions. Think about roller coasters. If you measured the length of a roller coaster track, you’d find that the distance it covers is far greater than the distance between where you get on and where you step off. By the time the ride is over, you’ve spent a great deal of time speeding to great heights and swooping to deep lows. On a roller coaster many people think that is entertaining, but if we let our emotions do that in everyday life, I can assure you that it is exhausting.
Instead of riding the emotional roller coaster, which only exhausts us, we need to become stable, solid, steadfast, persevering, determined people. Renewing your mind to think and believe that you are stable and content will help you get started. We can never enjoy any of God’s promises until we believe them for ourselves. In the world, we believe what we see, but in God’s kingdom we believe and then we see.
If we continue to let our emotions rule over us, there’s no way we’ll ever be the people we were meant to be. It does no good to merely wish that you were not so emotional. A choice must be made to change by completely renewing your mind. None of us will ever be totally rid of emotions and we don’t need to eliminate them from our lives, but we must learn to manage and control them-not allow them to control or have power over us. Emotions are not all bad, some of them are very enjoyable but they are rather fickle. You can feel one hundred ways in thirty days about the same thing.
Feelings change from day to day, hour to hour, sometimes even moment to moment. Not only do they change, they lie. For example, you may be in a crowd of people and feel everybody is talking about you, but that doesn’t mean they are. You may feel nobody understands you, but that doesn’t mean they don’t.
You may feel you are not well liked, unappreciated, or even mistreated, but that doesn’t mean it is true. If you want to be a mature, disciplined, well-balanced person, you must be determined not to walk according to what you feel. If I am having a “touchy” day, I might feel people are not treating me very well, but in reality they are not treating me any differently than they always do-I am just more emotionally sensitive that day and things affect me differently than normal.
People often ask me, “How can I learn contentment and stability?” There are actually two answers and they are both straight out of the Bible. What are they? Patience and self-control!
Patience
God wants us to use wisdom, and wisdom encourages patience. Wisdom says, “Wait a little while, until the emotions settle down, before you do or say something, then check to see if you really believe it’s the right thing to do.” Emotions urge us toward haste, telling us that we must do something and do it right now! But godly wisdom tells us to be patient and wait until we have a clear picture of what we are to do and when we are to do it. We need to be able to step back from our situations and see them from God’s perspective. Then we need to make decisions based on what we know rather than on what we feel.
Self-control
God has given us a free will and that means we have the privilege to choose what we will do and what we won’t do. As believers in Jesus Christ, God has given us a new nature, but at the same time we also have to deal with the old nature. The Bible states that we are to “put off” the old nature and “put on” the new nature. That is actually another way of saying we have choices to make. When we allow the old nature to rule, we will follow feelings when in reality we should operate in self-control. Self-control is a fruit of our new nature and all we need to do is develop it. We can develop self-control by using it, just as we can develop muscles by using them.
Exercising self-control is a form of freedom, not a type of bondage. You don’t have to do what you feel like doing. You’re free to do what you know is wise. Discipline and self-control will help you be what you say you want to be, but never will be without the help of self-control.
Practicing self-control will help you feel better about yourself; you will have more self-respect. You will also have more energy when you don’t allow your emotions to control you. When I was experiencing so many ups and downs, it actually made me physically tired. Going through all kinds of emotional changes takes a lot of energy. As God helped me learn to manage my emotions, I noticed that I also had more energy. If you have been tired lately, maybe you should stop and ask the Lord if the reason could be that you allow your emotions to manage you rather than you managing them.
Let me share a simple, everyday example about patience and self-control from my life. One time, I had saved up money to buy a good watch. I wanted a nice watch so the band wouldn’t change colors and turn my wrist green. One day, Dave and I were in the mall and happened to stop at a jewelry store, where I saw a watch that was very pretty. When we looked at it, we discovered that it was gold-plated. We knew it would probably eventually discolor, but it was pretty and sparkled a lot and I really liked it. Not only that, but the clerk offered to lower the price. So my emotions said, “Yes! That’s exactly what I want!”
But Dave said, “Well, you know it’s gold-plated, and it will eventually discolor.” I said, “I know but I really like this watch. What should I do?” “It’s your money,” he answered.
“I’ll tell you what I’m going to do,” I said to the clerk. “I’d like for you to hold the watch for me while I walk around the mall for a bit. If I want the watch, I’ll come back for it within the hour.”
So Dave and I walked around the mall for a while. As we did, we passed a dress shop. Because I needed a couple of new outfits, I went in and found a really nice suit. I tried it on, and it fit perfectly. I loved it.
“That’s a nice suit,” Dave observed. “You ought to get it.” I looked at the price tag and thought; It costs a lot more than I thought it would. But I really wanted the suit! Actually there were three things I wanted right then. I wanted the watch; I wanted the suit; and I wanted not to be broke. What did I do? I applied wisdom and decided to wait. The watch-which really wasn’t of the quality I wanted-would have taken all of the money I had saved. The suit was beautiful, but again I would have needed to use most of my money. I decided that the best thing was to keep my money and wait until I was sure of what I wanted most. Had I made an emotional decision, I would have bought the watch when I saw it, rather than take time to think over my purchase and exercise self-control by not buying it impulsively. Usually the wisest course is when in doubt, don’t! The excitement you feel in the shopping mall will fade away once you get the item home, so that had better not be the basis of your purchasing decision.
When faced with decisions, especially major ones or difficult ones, practice self-control and wait until you have a clear answer before taking a step you might regret. Remember to be led by peace, not excitement. Emotions can be wonderful when managed and handled in a godly way, but they must not be allowed to take precedence over wisdom and knowledge. Let me say again, “Control your emotions and don’t let them control you.” Start thinking and saying, “I am content and emotionally stable.”
Think about It
In what area do you need to practice patience and exercise self-control in your life right now?
