Mind Tricks To Get What You Want
6 Effective Ways To Get What You Want Now
Find Out What It Will Take
Here’s a genius of a technique for getting any kind of work-related upgrade-promotion, pay raise, extra perks-and it can work for other things too such as getting a loan from your bank manager. It takes a bit of patience, but you’ll get what you want in the end. And we all know that if it’s worth having, it’s worth waiting for.
If your boss has turned down your request-or if you don’t want to ask or don’t feel there’d be any point right now-you ask this killer question: “What would I have to do to be worth a pay raise (or whatever) in six months’ time?” If you think about it, they can’t very well say “nothing.” They’d be telling you that you can’t add any more value to the organization. So they don’t want you to work harder or improve your results?
Of course they do.
That means they have to give you an answer. And whatever that answers is, that’s your target. If you can achieve that in six months” time, they’ll have to give you a pay raise. Especially if you’ve followed up this conversation with an email confirming what’s been said.
Obviously it doesn’t have to be six months-you can ask whatever you think will be appropriate in terms of timing. But it is important that your boss is specific. It’s no good just saying you’d need to “increase sales” or “get more qualifications.” Increase sales to what level? Which qualifications? It needs to be specific, so they can’t argue with you when you do it.
If your boss tries to waffle and say they don’t know exactly, money’s tight and they’re not sure what senior management would feel, ask them to find out for you. And email them little reminders if necessary until they do. Remember you’re not asking for a handout. You’re asking at what point your value to the company would be so great that it would be profitable to pay you more to motivate you.
Get a Team Behind You
If you want someone to do something big for you, which will take time or money or commitment or hassle or effort, she will probably want to take advice or consult other people. Management will want everyone’s views on whether to open that new branch (the one that you want to run). Your parents will seek your brother and sister’s opinion on whether to move to a smaller house nearer to yours. That man you’ve taken an interest in might want to see what his friends think before he asks you on a date.
So it’s only logical to get as many people as you can on your side before you ask the key person. That way, the advice she’ll get when she starts consulting will be in your favor. If everyone in the meeting is arguing in favor of the new branch, the management is far more likely to agree. Mom and dad will be much more inclined to make the move if all their children support it.
So prime all these people, and convince them of your case. If this is a big deal, treat each one as a challenge in itself, and use all the strategies we’ve covered to get them to support you. It will take time, maybe-effort, certainly-but it will be worth it when just about everyone comes out in your favor.
And If You Really Do Have to Ask…
OK I lied. At least, I didn’t exactly lie. I said I’d tell you how to get what you want without having to ask, and I have. I just omitted to mention that occasionally there is nothing to do but to ask directly. So to make up for misleading you slightly, I’m now including a few guidelines so that when you do have to ask, it can be as painless and as effective as possible.
Ideally you can practice these techniques as much as possible until you find that, actually, asking’s not so bad. After all, it can be the simplest and most straightforward way to get what you want. That doesn’t mean that all the rest of this book is wasted, because you’ll still need to use most of the skills and tactics and techniques and strategies and ploys we’ve covered. But just plain asking can certainly add another string to your bow.
So here we have it. How to get what you want without having to ask twice.
Be Clear What You’re Asking
Sure, some requests are pretty straightforward. Can I have Friday off to travel to a family wedding? Can I extend my overdraft? Will you go out with me? But often there’s a more complicated agenda. Suppose you want your partner to help you lose weight, and you’re asking her to support you. How? You want her to tell you off every time you look at the cookie jar? Agree to stop cooking certain foods? Go on the diet with you? You need to know what you’re asking, or how can she know whether to say yes?
Here’s another example. You want your boss to give you more responsibility. So you ask him. And he says, what extra responsibilities do you want? When do you want to start? Will you need extra support? Are you prepared to put in longer hours? And if the answer is no, is that it, or are you going to ask him to reconsider if you enroll in an evening course to brush up your skills, or get more experience over the next few months, or wait until someone in the department moves on? Don’t go into the conversation until you’ve thought through all the possibilities, and are clear in your mind about exactly what it is you’re asking. Because if you don’t know, he’s certainly not going to. And if he’s not sure exactly what he’s agreeing to, well…it’s easier just to say no.
