17. Emotional problems after a heart attack

Will I be able to resume a normal sex life after a heart attack?

The answer is definitely yes! Questions about sexual and emotional problems are asked by anyone who has had any serious health upsets, not just people with heart problems.

Why do I feel so angry about what has happened to me? Why did this happen to me?’ and ‘Why now?’ are common questions asked.

Heart attacks can occur at any time, not at a convenient time; they are always inconvenient. If you feel angry and bitter about what has happened, you are likely to be short of patience and irritable. You may take these feelings out on close friends and family; this is understandable but they too will be suffering.

Remember that being angry is a stage in your recovery process and it will pass. Sometimes it is a good idea to discuss these feelings with someone who is not so close to you as family – that is why it is such a good idea to join a cardiac rehabilitation programme.

I still feel very moody at times after my heart attack. Why is this?

You may feel up and down, day by day, as you come to terms with what has happened. Don’t worry about these mood swings or feeling as if you have ‘the blues’ – focus on resting and being positive about the future. Don’t bottle your feelings up – talk to someone close, your family doctor or practice nurse. These feelings are all quite normal.

I am the one, who has had a heart attack, but I now feel fine, perhaps a bit low sometimes; but my children really blame themselves over what happened. Why do they feel guilty?

Your family has been through a traumatic time also – they have been afraid of losing you and have had to put a brave face on every day. Children often feel guilty – teenagers in particular – that in some way they may have caused your heart attack.

Explain to them that, although the heart attack was sudden (they all are), what caused it took years to develop and they could not be to blame. Talk a lot, don’t suffer in silence or let your family suffer in silence. As the Americans say, ‘let it all hang out’ or these bad feelings will fester and become destructive.

I’m really depressed after my heart attack, which is unusual for me as I am usually ‘bubbly’. My doctor tells me that this is normal after a heart attack. How will I know if I am ‘medically’ depressed rather than just ‘down’?

Being down in the dumps at times is common for 2–3 months after a heart attack but this will lessen as you get back to normal. Some people may have been inclined to be depressed before a heart attack, and this can develop into a more significant medical problem. Constant irritability and heavy drinking are early signs.