Now all my treatment is finished and I’m not going back to the hospital so often, I feel really alone. Who can I talk to?

Even though you are no longer attending hospital, it doesn’t mean you can’t get in touch with the staff there. If you have concerns of a medical nature, you should contact your doctor or breast care nurse as soon as possible so that you don’t worry unnecessarily. Your breast care nurse can also be contacted to discuss practical and emotional problems. She will probably encourage you to telephone if you are feeling low or have questions about what is happening. If you wish to take advantage of this offer, then do so – they really do mean what they say.

You may find you are more comfortable talking with your family doctor whom you may have known for a long time and who also knows your family well. Some practices also have specialist community nurses or counsellors attached to them, who may be able to help and support you.

How can I find someone who really understands how I feel?

There are many people who have been through a similar experience of breast cancer and treatment, who will identify with you. There are several voluntary organisations which might be able to help you, some of which were originally set up by people with cancer or their families, and are now national charities. There are other groups of people with a common interest in a particular aspect of health or illness. Some of them offer a confidential telephone service, providing information and support. Others can give you a list of local support and self-help groups, if you wish to meet with people in your own area, or they may have a network of people throughout the country who you can talk with or meet individually.

What’s the difference between a support group and a self-help group?

It’s probably easier to think first of the similarities rather than the differences. In fact the two terms are often interchangeable. Both are places where people can go to meet others who are going through, or have been through, similar experiences. Self-help groups, however, are generally only for the person who has had cancer, whereas support groups may be open to anyone affected by cancer in any way, including friends and relatives. Some groups may be run by professionals, for example breast care nurses, and some by people who have had cancer themselves.

I don’t want to sit around listening to everyone describing what happened to them. Isn’t this what happens in a support group?

No. People go to groups for lots of different reasons. Often the most important one is to meet people who have been through a similar experience to themselves. Being amongst people who can really identify with you and your experience can be very strengthening and positive. In such company many people feel they can relax and that they don’t have to be concerned about putting on a brave face as they might have to for their friends or family.

Support groups usually offer a variety of activities which may include:

• Regular meetings with an invited speaker followed by time to chat;

• Regular ‘drop-in’ times for people to get together with no formal structure;

• The opportunity to try certain complementary therapies;

• Counseling or befriending;

• Social events.

There are also support networks where you might get telephone or internet support from someone in the same situation as you, but who you may never meet face to face.

For many people, being part of a cancer support group or network helps them to adjust to living with cancer.