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Think Positively

Troubles, like babies, grow larger by nursing.

Lady Holland

How do you feel when someone unloads all of his problems and complaints on you? Not very uplifting and energizing, is it? The truth is, nobody likes to be around a complainer — except, perhaps, other complainers.


Self-pity is an acid which eats holes in happiness.

Earl Nightingale

The secret of happiness is to count your blessings while others are adding up their troubles.

William Penn

Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.

Charles Dickens

(1)   Definitions of ‘spirituality’ in the Oxford English Dictionary run to several pages. This is largely because the word ‘spirit’ has many meanings. These include a sense of loyalty or cohesion (‘team spirit’), an emotional state (‘in high spirits’), a deeper sense of meaning (‘the spirit of the law’), certain chemicals (‘white spirit’) and, of course, strong alcoholic beverages (‘spirits’). There are many interpretations of spirituality, and they all relate to things outside the realms of physical nature or matter. Spirituality goes beyond the appearance of things to their underlying principles or forces. Living spiritually doesn’t necessarily mean following a particular religion, but it does infer understanding that the universe has some order and that the creative force behind it (whatever that may be) is intelligent and purposeful. Spirituality is highly practical. It is about finding meaning and purpose in an apparently imperfect world then using what we learn to create happy, healthy, prosperous and fulfilling lives for ourselves and others. It is not, as we shall see, a special thing to be found in out-of-the-way places – it is Life itself, flowing, ever-present and abundant.

(2)   Spirituality is founded on an appreciation that the world we detect through our five senses is not the ultimate reality. Objects that appear to be solid are not as solid as we think they are. One of the first to understand this was the Greek philosopher Plato. He realised that everything we perceive through our senses is merely an expression of universal ideas or ‘Forms’. These are independent entities which exist whether or not we are aware of them and able to grasp them with the mind. Love, for example, exists in the universe as an idea; we only become aware of it when it enters our experience. Even then, my experience of love may be different from yours. Meanwhile, the idea of love itself remains constant, permanent and unchanging, as do other universal ideas such as wisdom, justice, honesty, beauty and so on. For more than two thousand years, Plato’s theory was just that – a theory – and could not be proved one way or the other. Then at the beginning of the twentieth century it was verified by scientists when quantum physicists discovered a ‘substance’ or ‘energy’ out of which all physical things are formed. In other words, the universe is not solid at all. It is made of energy – and so are you

Love, for example, exists in the universe as an idea; we only become aware of it when it enters our experience. Even then, my experience of love may be different from yours. Meanwhile, the idea of love itself remains constant, permanent and unchanging, as do other universal ideas such as wisdom, justice, honesty, beauty and so on.

The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.

William James

You are not what you think you are. But what you think YOU ARE!

Dr. Norman Vincent Peale

 Never underestimate your power to change yourself.

H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Think, act and talk with enthusiasm and you ll attract positive results.

Michael LeBoeuf

 

 

(70) Think Positively

Transform Your Mind, Change Your Brain

Change-who-you

Positive people in the workplace

Good friends are good for your health.

- Dr. Irwin Sarason

Just about every organization has some negative people working there. And sometimes you have to interact and work alongside these people. But don’t go out of your way to spend time with these prophets of gloom and doom.For instance, if you frequently have lunch with negative people at work, stop having lunch with them! All they’re doing is filling your mind with negativity. You can’t perform at your best if you allow these people to dump their negative garbage into your mind. There’s no need to be nasty or to tell them off. You should be able to find a diplomatic way of distancing yourself from this “poisonous” group.

Instead, take charge. Be proactive. Make it a point to eat at your desk... to take a client out to lunch... or to sit at a different table in the cafeteria. Do whatever you have to do to make lunch a positive experience.

Make no mistake about it. Positive people are welcomed in any organization... and negative people are hurting their chances for advancement. The problem of negative workers has gotten so bad that I recently got a brochure in the mail announcing a full-day seminar entitled “How to Legally Fire Employees with Attitude Problems!”

The business community is waking up to the fact that when it comes to productivity in the workplace, attitude is all!

Choose Your Friends Wisely

As I say, “Tell me who you hang out with and I’ll tell you who you are.” If you’re serious about getting a raise or a promotion at work... succeeding in your own business... or improving yourself as a human being, then you have to start associating with people who can take you to the next level.

As you increase your associations with nourishing people, you’ll feel better about yourself and have renewed energy to achieve your goals. You’ll become a more positive, upbeat person - the kind of person others love to be around. I used to think it was important to associate with positive people and to limit involvement with negative people. Now, I believe it’s essential if you want to be a high achiever and a happy individual.

So, surround yourself with positive, nourishing people - they’ll lift you up the ladder of success.

Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The audience listening to motivational speaker Gil Eagles, little did I know that one sentence was about to change our life’s.

Gil Eagles gave a marvelous presentation that day. He had many valuable things to say. But there was one line - one absolute gem - that stands out. Here’s what he said: “If you want to be successful, you must be willing to be uncomfortable.”

I’ll never forget those words. And Gil was right on the money. To achieve your goals and realize your potential, you must be willing to be uncomfortable - to do things that you’re afraid to do. That’s how you develop your potential!

Sounds so simple, doesn’t it? And yet, what do most people do when they face a frightening situation or new activity? They back away from the fear. They don’t take action. I know... And I can tell you without hesitation that it’s a losing strategy.

Show me a successful person and I’ll show you someone who confronts his or her fears and takes action!

Examining Our Fears

Have you ever been afraid or anxious before trying a new or challenging activity? Has that fear ever stopped you from taking action? I’m sure you’ve been paralyzed by fear at one time or another in your life. I know I have. That’s simply part of being human.

Of course, every person has a different fear threshold. What frightens one person to death might have little impact on someone else. For example, to some, speaking in public or starting a new business is scary. Others might be fearful about asking someone for directions... or for a date. Regardless of how trivial or silly you believe your fears may be, this lesson applies to you.

When I talk about fear, I’m not referring to physical risks that might injure you or endanger your health, such as diving off cliffs in Acapulco or bungee jumping. I’m scared of those things, too - and I have no plans to do either of them. What I’m talking about here are those challenges that stand in the way of your personal and professional growth. These are the things that scare you - but which you know are necessary if you’re going to get what you want in life.

Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.

-  Marie Curie

The Comfort Zone

When you’re gripped by fear and anxiety, it’s usually because you’re stepping out of your comfort zone. Let’s take some time to discuss this important concept - and how it relates to your success and the development of your potential. Each of us has a comfort zone, a zone of behavior that is familiar to us and where we feel comfortable and safe. Think of your comfort zone as the inside of a circle. The activities and situations that lie inside the circle are non-threatening and familiar. They’re routine, part of your everyday life - the things you can do with no sweat. In this category are tasks such as speaking to your friends or co-workers or filling out the daily paperwork at your job.

However, you occasionally face experiences or challenges that are outside your comfort zone. These are represented by the “Xs” (X-Terrified; X-Slightly Afraid). The farther the “X” is from the circle, the more afraid you are to participate in that activity.

When faced with something outside your comfort zone, you suddenly feel nervous. Your palms become sweaty and your heart pounds. You begin to wonder, “Will I be able to handle it?

“Will others laugh at me?

“What will my friends and relatives say?”

As you look at the mental diagram, what does the “X” represent for you? In other words, what fear is holding you back from reaching the next level of success or fulfillment in your life?

Is it fear of approaching new prospects?

Is it fear about changing careers?

Is it fear about learning new skills?

Is it fear of going back to school?

Is it fear of telling other people what’s on your mind?

Is it fear of public speaking?

Whatever that “X” represents for you, just be honest and admit it. My guess is that thousands, if not millions, of people have the very same fear you have! In fact, let’s take a closer look at what most people are afraid of.

The Most Common Fears

If during a presentation, I distribute index cards to the audience members and ask them to write down, anonymously, the fears that are standing in the way of their professional and personal growth. Then, I collect the cards and read them aloud.

What do you think people write on those index cards? In most audiences, regardless of profession or geographical location, the same answers can come up again and again. Here are some of the most common fears they identify:

1. Public Speaking or Giving Presentations. In virtually every group, this is the #1 fear. The vast majority of people are terrified about speaking in front of a group of people.

2. Hearing the word “NO” or having their ideas rejected. This response is very common among salespeople, especially those who make cold calls.

3. Changing Jobs or Starting Their Own Business. Over the years, I’ve noticed that more and more people are listing this fear. We have a lot of unhappy workers in corporate world today, and they yearn for a more satisfying work environment... but they’re afraid to do anything about it!

4. Telling Managers or Executives “Negative News” (what the managers or executives don’t want to hear). This one is self-explanatory.

5. Talking to People in Upper Management. Many entry-level workers and even managers are terrified about speaking to executives in the company. They even hesitate to make “small talk” with the president or CEO of their organization - for fear they’ll say something silly or appear stupid.

6. Fear of Failure. Those who won’t try something new for fear that it won’t work out.

Well, are you surprised by any of the fears on this list? Do you have any of them now - or have you had them in the past? The truth is, the overwhelming majority of people experience these fears at some point in their lives.

And if you have some fears that weren’t on this list, don’t worry about it. You are stronger than any of your fears... and you can overcome them!

 

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(71) Think Positively

The Importance of Staying Positive! - Law Of Attraction

PT72

The “Benefit” Of Backing Away From Your Fears

 He who loses wealth loses much; he who loses a friend loses more; but he who loses courage loses all.

- Miguel de Cervantes

When confronted with an anxiety-producing event, most people will retreat to avoid the fear and anxiety. That’s what I used to do. You see, backing away does relieve the fear and anxiety that would have resulted if you followed through with the activity. For instance, if someone asks you to make a presentation within your company, and you decline, you save yourself the sleepless nights you’d have worrying about it... and the nervousness you’d experience in the days leading up to the presentation.

In fact, I’ve found that’s the one and only benefit you get by retreating - a momentary avoidance of anxiety. Think about it for a moment. Can you list any other benefits that people get when they refuse to confront their fears? I’ve asked that question, and nobody has been able to come up with any additional benefits.

For good reason - there are none!

The Price You Pay

Now, I want you to seriously consider the price you pay when you back away from those fears that are standing in the way of your growth. Here’s what happens: Your self-esteem is lowered. You feel powerless and frustrated. You sabotage your success. You lead an uneventful, boring life. Is this a price worth paying for the short-term avoidance of fear and anxiety? Most of us are indeed willing to pay this dear price, simply to avoid temporary discomfort and possible ridicule from others.

Trust me folks, this is insane! In the long run, retreating is not the best way to handle your problem. You’ll never be highly successful or develop your talents to the fullest unless you’re willing to confront your fears.

My High School Strategy

Some person told …” When I was in high school, I was pretty shy and didn’t feel very good about myself. But I was never rejected when it came to asking someone for a date. If you were looking at me now, you’d probably be thinking, “He’s not bad looking, but he’s certainly no Tom Cruise.”

My strategy was really quite simple. I never asked anyone out on a date. You see, I wasn’t going to let anyone reject me. And what did I accomplish? I felt horrible about myself. I knew that I had “wimped out.” I felt powerless, and as you can imagine, I didn’t have a full social calendar. I was sabotaging my success! Because I refused to face my fear, I remained in the background while most of my friends and classmates went out on dates. How do you think that made me feel? Pretty lousy, just as you’d expect. In case you’re wondering, I did have a few dates during that period of my life, but only when other people arranged them. I wasn’t going to allow anyone to say “NO” to me. In reality I was saying “NO” to myself. Can you see how my strategy of backing away from my fears worked against me? Now it’s true that if I had asked some people for a date in high school, a few of them might have said “NO.” But you know what? I wouldn’t have died! I could have asked another person... and another... and eventually I would have gotten a “YES.” It wasn’t until college that I began to take some “baby steps” to confront this fear of rejection. Little by little, I gained more confidence. And in law school, I had the good fortune to meet Dolores, and we’ve been married for 18 years! I’m really no different from you. I have my fears, just as you do. And when I look back at the first 30 years of my life, you know what I see? I see someone who achieved some degree of success as an attorney. But I also see someone who was shy, insecure, scared, and self-conscious. Does that sound to you like someone who’s a motivational speaker?

What turned my life around... and improved it a million-fold... is that I learned to confront my fears and take action. I realized after years of frustration and disappointments that hiding from my fears wasn’t getting me anywhere - and it would never get me anywhere. Of course, I wouldn’t have confronted my fears if I hadn’t first developed a positive attitude. A “can-do” attitude provided me with the extra push I needed to take action. When you believe you can do something, you have the courage to move forward despite being afraid. Armed with a great attitude, I decided to become a participant in life and to explore my potential, even though I was scared. From the very beginning, I felt so much better about myself. I had taken control of my life, and all sorts of possibilities opened up for me.Are you beginning to see the incredible rewards you can receive when you’re willing to develop a positive attitude and confront your fears?”

Reframe the Situation

If I could give you a way to confront uncomfortable situations without fear or anxiety, you’d be ecstatic and eternally grateful, wouldn’t you? Sorry, but there’s no such magical solution. I can’t wave a magic wand and take away your fears.

How then can you muster the courage to do those things that you fear, but which are necessary for your success and growth? The next time you face a scary situation, I suggest you take a different outlook. Most people start thinking, “I won’t be able to do this well and other people may laugh at me or reject me.” They get hung up about how well they’re going to perform. Because of these worries, they decide to retreat. While you should always go in with a positive attitude and prepare beforehand to the extent possible, don’t be overly concerned with the result.

Consider yourself an immediate winner when you take the step and do the thing you fear. That’s right. You’re a winner just by entering the arena and participating, regardless of the result.

Moving Forward Even When You’re Afraid

For instance, let’s assume you’re afraid to speak in public, but you confront your fear and do it anyway. The moment you get up and speak before the audience, you’re a winner. Your knees may be shaking and your voice may be quivering. That doesn’t matter. You faced your fear and accepted the challenge. Congratulations are in order. The likely result is that your self-esteem will be enhanced and you’ll feel exhilarated.

On your first attempt, you won’t be hailed as the world’s finest speaker. So what? Let’s face it. You can’t expect to be an accomplished speaker during your first presentation. Were you a great tennis player after your first game? Or a great swimmer the first time you entered the water? Developing any skill takes time.

Someone told…”I remember my first motivational speech. That was in 1988... and my performance was nothing to write home about! I gave a free talk to a group of real estate salespeople, and let me tell you, I was terrified. I couldn’t take my eyes off my notes. Fortunately, the content of my presentation was very solid and the audience responded well. But I had a long way to go before I could call myself a good speaker. On the second presentation, I was a little better. And when I had done five or so presentations, I began to rely less and less on my notes... and to develop a stronger connection with the audience. Now, 11 years later, I’m a professional speaker who speaks to thousands of people each year throughout the United States. But let’s not forget that it all started with a scared guy who gave a very unimpressive talk in 1988.”

She Followed Her Dream

The only way to escape from the prison of fear is action.

- Joe Tye

I’d like to tell you a story about a woman who knows a lot about breaking out of a comfort zone. Her name is Dottie Burman, and for 32 years Dottie was a high school English teacher in New York. Yet, since the age of 10, she wanted to go into show business. She never gave it serious thought as a career and instead chose the security of teaching, with its regular paycheck and benefits. While working as a teacher, Dottie began to write songs and perform them. It was just a hobby, but it kept her dream alive. Then, in the late 1980s, Dottie made a decision. She would retire from teaching and pursue a new career as a performer. In the summer of 1988, she submitted her resignation. Then the terror really hit her. She was so scared about venturing into the unknown that she with-drew her resignation and went back to teaching. But something inside Dottie wouldn’t let her dream die. Six months later, in January of 1989, she confronted her fear and retired. At the time, Dottie was in her 50s! In 1992, Dottie developed and performed her own one-woman musical show. The show was based on her fears of leaving a secure teaching job to go into show business! And in the spring of 1998, Dottie, now in her 60s, released her marvelous CD, I’m in Love With My Computer, a collection of witty, inspirational songs. She also performed these songs in a musical revue in a cabaret in New York City - and continues to present her programs of original songs and stories in theaters and cabarets... as well as for organizations throughout the country. Dottie will be the first to admit that her career transition has been filled with challenges and setbacks. But has it been worth it? According to Dottie, “I’ve never been happier in my life.”

Bravo, Dottie, for confronting your fears... and inspiring us to follow our dreams!

 

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(72) Think Positively

Deepak Chopra - The 7 Spiritual Laws of Success

Sally-Jessy

 

Sally Jessy Raphael

Just Do It

Failure is only the opportunity to more intelligently begin again.

- Henry Ford

Ralph Waldo Emerson offered some simple advice, which, if followed, can transform your life. He said, “Do the thing you fear and the death of fear are certain.”

I know this advice makes good sense, but some people are just too afraid to act. Remember about the steep price you pay when you let your fears dominate you.

In the end, running away from your fears is a losing strategy. It will only bring you frustration and unhappiness.

There’s nothing wrong with having some fears. Successful people have fears. The difference is that successful people take action and move forward despite being afraid. It’s not always easy, But you’ll always feel better about yourself when you face your fears.

As Burke Hedges often says, “Don’t be one of those who let his regrets take the place of his dreams.” So, stretch yourself. Confront your fears and be willing to expand your comfort zone. The courage muscle can be developed just like any other muscle - with exercise. And when you do an activity outside your comfort zone a few times, you know what happens? That same activity becomes part of your comfort zone!

There’s another bonus when you’re willing to expand your comfort zone. When you push through fear and take action in some areas of your life, you’ll develop confidence in other areas, as well. It’s true!

You can try to dance around it all you want. But you won’t develop your abilities to the fullest unless you’re willing to be uncomfortable. Life doesn’t reward those who refuse to expose themselves to difficulties and challenges.

It’s important that you put yourself in a position to win - and that means taking action despite fear. Confront your fears... and you’re on the way to developing your potential and leading the exciting, fulfilling life you deserve. It’s a decision you’ll never regret!

She couldn’t pay her credit card bills for 26 years. She moved 25 times looking for work. She was fired 18 times. She worked for 26 years before she earned an annual salary of $22,000.

She occasionally lived on food stamps and slept in her car. The “failure” described above is well-known TV talk show host Sally Jessy Raphael. You see, despite all of her setbacks, she refused to give up her childhood dream of a career in broadcasting. She was willing to keep failing... and keep failing... until she succeeded. Sally Jessy Raphael has earned millions of dollars and has enjoyed a long and successful TV career.

All because she kept a great attitude despite years of failures.

In The Beginning

How is it that someone like Sally Jessy Raphael can endure 26 years of failure and keep going? If you look back to your own childhood, I think you’ll see that you, too, demonstrated tremendous resilience in the face of repeated failures.

Remember when you learned how to ride a bicycle? You probably began with training wheels. Eventually, when these crutches were removed, keeping your balance became more difficult. You struggled to stay upright, maybe even falling a few times and scraping yourself. You were learning an important early lesson about failure.

As you practiced, it’s likely that one of your parents walked beside you shouting instructions, encouraging you and catching you as you lost balance. You were scared... but excited! You looked forward to the time when you would succeed, when you would at last ride free on your own. So you kept at it every day, and eventually mastered the skill of riding a bike.

What contributed to your ultimate success in learning how to ride your bike? Well, persistence and sheer repetition, certainly. You were going to stick with it no matter how long it took! It also helped that you were enthusiastic about what you set out to achieve - that you could hardly wait to reach your goal. And finally, let’s not underestimate the impact of positive encouragement. You always knew your parents were in your corner, supporting you, rooting for your success.

As a six-year-old learning to ride your bike, you were optimistic... thrilled... and eager to meet the challenge. You couldn’t wait to try again. You knew you’d master it eventually. But that was a long time ago.

Yesterday and Today

Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.

- Winston Churchill

Now let’s examine how most adults approach the development of new skills. Would you say they’re optimistic... thrilled... and eager to meet the challenge? We both know the answer to that question is “NO.”

Let’s assume we asked a group of adults to learn a new software program or to switch to another position in the company. How would most respond?

They’d try to avoid it.

They’d complain.

They’d make excuses why they shouldn’t have to do it.

They’d doubt their abilities.

They’d be afraid.

What happened to that six-year-old brimming with vitality and a sense of adventure?

How did that child turn into an adult moaning and groaning about learning something new? As adults, most of us become a lot more concerned about the opinions of others, often hesitating because people may laugh at us or criticize us.

At the age of six, we knew we had to fall off the bike and get back on to learn a new skill. Falling off the bike wasn’t a “bad” thing. But as we got older, we started to perceive falling off as a bad thing - rather than an essential part of the process of achieving our goal.

It can be uncomfortable to try something new, perhaps even scary. But if you take your eyes off the goal and instead focus your attention on how others may be viewing you, you’re doing yourself a grave disservice. To develop a new skill or reach a meaningful target, you must be committed to doing what it takes to get there, even if it means putting up with negative feedback or falling on your face now and then.

Successful people have learned to “fail” their way to success. While they may not particularly enjoy their “failures,” they recognize them as a necessary part of the road to victory. After all, becoming proficient at any skill requires time, effort and discipline... and the willingness to persevere through whatever difficulties may arise.

 

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(73) Think Positively

The Most Motivating Video for Success

PT74

These Failures Make Millions of Dollars

The greatest mistake a person can make is to be afraid of making one.

-  Elbert Hubbard

Take the example of a professional baseball player. As it is today, the player who gets just three hits in 10 attempts is at the top of his profession, making several million dollars a year. That’s a 70 percent failure rate! And the fans will no doubt taunt him when he strikes out.

And speaking of baseball, what a thrill it was to watch Mark McGwire of the St. Louis Cardinals as he hit 70 home runs during the 1998 season. He’s such an exciting player. But did you know that Mark McGwire struck out 155 times in 1998? And for his career, McGwire has hit 457 home runs; yet, he has struck out 1,259 times.

That’s almost three times as many strikeouts as home runs! When I ask you to name the best basketball player of all time, who comes to mind? I’m guessing that many of you immediately thought of Michael Jordan. He gets my vote. Let me share with you this statistic - Michael Jordan has a career shooting percentage of 50 percent. In other words, half of the shots he took in his career were “failures.”

Of course, this principle isn’t limited to sports. We also know that show business stars and media personalities are no strangers to failure. Many actors invest 10 or 15 years, enduring hundreds of rejections before landing a part that launches their careers. And then, even after achieving some degree of success, they still experience occasional box office flops.

On the night he graduated from college, Jerry Seinfeld did his first comedy gig. It was at a comedy club in New York City. He bombed. When asked to describe that evening, Seinfeld said, “It was pretty horrible. It was a terrible sinking feeling.” But he didn’t quit. He kept performing his stand-up routine at night. He had five very tough years. And then he was invited to appear on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson in 1981. He was a big hit... and on his way to an incredibly successful career.

In a nutshell, all these individuals realize that success, to a large extent, is a matter of persistence. That is, if you keep trying, keep developing yourself, and keep making adjustments along the way, you’re going to succeed. You simply need to get enough at-bats... go on enough auditions... visit enough potential clients.

Undaunted By Failure

I want to tell you about two guys who wrote a book containing a collection of inspirational stories. They figured it would take about three months to make a deal with a publisher. The first publisher they approached said “NO.” The second publisher said “NO.” The third publisher said “NO.” The next 30 publishers said “NO.” Having racked up 33 rejections over a period of three years, what do you think they did? They submitted their book to another publisher. The 34th publisher said “YES.”

And that one “YES” - after 33 “failures” - is what launched the spectacular success of Chicken Soup For The Soul, written and compiled by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen. If you’ve been in a bookstore. I’ll bet you’ve seen that book. There’s a good chance that you’ve read one of the books in the Chicken Soup series.  The Chicken Soup For The Soul series has sold over 30 million copies! All because Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen had the determination to fail over and over... and to keep going until they succeeded.

What sustained Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen through 33 failures? Their attitudes! If these guys had negative attitudes, they would have given up after the first or second rejection, missing out on a pot of gold. But their attitudes remained positive and upbeat - failure... after failure... after failure.

What’s a good attitude worth? In their case, about 10 million bucks apiece... and still counting!

 Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.

- William Feather

Another example of someone who endured years of failure is the phenomenally successful radio host Rush Limbaugh. For years, Rush Limbaugh worked at low-paying jobs and was ridiculed before he made a successful breakthrough. After floundering in radio for 12 years, he was urged to get out of the business. In 1979, he left the radio industry and spent five miserable years in a sales job for which he wasn’t suited. In 1983, he returned to radio and the rest, as we know, is history.

So, when you get right down to it, there is no such thing as “failure” - there are only results, some more successful than others. Failure doesn’t mean you’ve reached the end of the line and that success isn’t possible. The only time success is impossible is when you quit. Quitting is final. But continued attempts, with commitment and diligence, can be turned into success.

Never Give Up

In the early 1990s, the owner of a Midwestern company called our office to inquire about my speaking programs, as well as our products and publications. I spoke with him on the phone and promptly sent out some information. When we called to follow up, he’d say that he was “thinking about it and hadn’t made a decision yet.” At the beginning, we called every week. No sale. Then, we called once a month. No sale. For a period of a few years, we kept calling this gentleman. We kept sending him quarterly newsletters and flyers. And all we had to show for it was one failure after another.

But in the spring of 1998, a representative of his company called our office, and I was hired to present a motivational program at one of their sales meetings. When I met the owner in person, he told me, “I was impressed with your persistence. Someone from your office kept calling me for years... and didn’t give up.” Sure, we put up with years of failure. But it was all worth it when we made that sale!

Key Questions

If you aren’t getting the results you want or have been discouraged by failures, ask yourself these questions:

1. Do I have an unrealistic timetable? Maybe you expect to “skip steps” and succeed on a grand scale immediately. Success is usually achieved by climbing one step at a time. And you don’t always know how long it will take to advance to the next level. So, be patient with yourself - and resist the temptation to compare your progress with that of anyone else! You’ll advance faster than some, slower than others. Maintain a great attitude... takes action... make adjustments... and the results will come.

2. Am I truly committed? Do you have a burning desire to achieve your goal? It’s essential that you be willing to do whatever it takes and that you banish any thought of giving up before you accomplish your objective. Of course, it’s much easier to be committed when you love what you’re doing. Therefore, go after those goals you’re passionate about, and harbor no thought of quitting.

3. Do I have too many discouraging influences? Unsuccessful results can be frustrating. That’s why we need to surround ourselves with people who support and believe in us. If you hang around with negative people who are highly critical or who are doing very little in their own lives, your energy, and enthusiasm will be drained. Therefore, develop a network of individuals to encourage and coach you toward success.

4. Am I preparing to succeed? Success in any endeavor requires thorough preparation. Are you taking steps to learn everything you can about accomplishing your goal? This means reading books, listening to tapes, taking courses and networking with highly successful people in your field. It might mean finding a mentor or getting a coach to work with you. Successful individuals are always sharpening their skills. Those getting unsuccessful outcomes often do the same things over and over without making necessary adjustments. So, be “coachable.” Accept the fact that you don’t already know it all and find resources to keep you on track and moving forward.

5. Am I truly willing to fail? Face it, failure is inevitable. You will encounter defeat prior to succeeding. In our hearts, we know our most valuable lessons come from our failures. Failure is essential for growth. Look failure squarely in the face and see it as a natural part of the success process. Then, failure will lose its power over you. The truth is, when you’re not afraid to fail, you’re well on the way to success. Welcome failure as an unavoidable yet vital component in the quest to achieve your goals.

 

 

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(74) Think Positively

TURNING FAILURE INTO SUCCESS

TP76

 

Would you like me to give you a formula for success? It s quite simple. Double your rate of failure.

- Thomas J. Watson

 

Turning Failure into Success

Your failures are learning experiences that point out the adjustments you must make. Never try to hide from failure, for that approach guarantees that you’ll take virtually no risks... and achieve very little. As Beverly Sills once remarked, “You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try.” No, you won’t close every sale. And you won’t make money on every investment. Life is a series of wins and losses, even for the most successful. The winners in life know that you crawl before you walk and you walk before you run. And with each new goal comes a new set of failures. It’s up to you whether you treat these disappointments as temporary setbacks and challenges to overcome, or as insurmountable obstacles.

If you make it your business to learn from every defeat and stay focused on the end result you wish to attain, failure will eventually lead you to success!

You can get everything in life you want if you’ll just help enough other people get what they want.

-Zig Ziglar

The Benefits of Networking

While your success certainly starts with you, it grows to higher levels as a result of your associations and relationships with people. Simply put, you can’t succeed on a grand scale all by yourself. That’s why networking is so important. For the purposes of this lesson, let’s define networking as the development of relationships with people for mutual benefit.

In the business arena, networking has the following benefits:

• Generates new clients or business leads

• Increases employment opportunities

• Helps in finding the right people to fill critical positions

• Provides valuable information and resources

• Assists in solving problems

In the personal realm, here’s what networking can do for you:

• Enhance your social relationships by introducing you to new friends

• Help you to become acquainted with people of varying ethnic, cultural, and philosophical backgrounds

• Provide valuable information and resources

• Contribute to your spiritual growth

Now that we know what networking can do, the question is: What can we do to enhance the effectiveness of our network? Let me pass along 16 techniques that I’ve found productive. To simplify matters, I’ve organized them into four separate, but related, categories: 1) attitude and action; 2) referrals; 3) communication; and 4) follow-up.

ATTITUDE AND ACTION

1. Project a winning attitude. When it comes to networking, attitude is everything! If you’re positive and enthusiastic, people will want to spend time with you. They’ll want to help you. If you’re gloomy and negative, people will avoid you, and they’ll hesitate to refer you to their friends and colleagues.

2. Participate actively in groups and organizations. Effective networking and relationship-building takes more than paying dues, putting your name in a directory, and showing up for meetings. You must demonstrate that you’ll take the time and make the effort to contribute to the group.

What kinds of things can you do? For starters, you can volunteer for committees or serve as an officer or member of the board of directors. The other members will respect you when they see you roll up your sleeves and do some work. They’ll also learn about your people skills, your character, your values and last, but not least, your attitude!

3. Serve others in your network. Serving others is crucial to building and benefiting from your network! You should always be thinking, “How can I serve others?” instead of “What’s in it for me?” If you come across as desperate or as a “taker” rather than a “giver,” you won’t find people willing to help you. Going the extra mile for others is the best way to get the flow of good things coming back to you.

How can you serve others in your network? Start by referring business leads or potential customers. In addition, whenever you see an article or other information that might be of interest to someone in your network, forward the material to that person.

As the Bible says, “Give and it shall be given unto you.” That’s the truth!

REFERRALS

4. Be Explicit. If you refer someone, make sure that the person mentions your name as the source of the referral.

5. Be selective. Don’t refer every person you meet. Respect the time of those in your network. Referring “unqualified” leads will reflect poorly on you. Ask yourself whether or not a particular referral is really going to be of value to your network partner. Keep in mind that the key is the quality, not quantity, of the leads you supply.

COMMUNICATION

6. Be a good listener. Have you ever been speaking to someone who goes on and on about himself and his business - and never takes a moment to ask about you? We’ve all run into the “Me, Me, and Me” types - and they’re the last people you want to help.

So, in your conversations, focus on drawing other people out. Let them talk about their careers and interests. In return, you’ll be perceived as caring, concerned, and intelligent.

7. Call people from time to time just because you care. How do you feel when someone calls you on the phone and says, “Hey, I was just thinking about you and was wondering how you’re doing?” I’ll bet you feel like a million bucks! If that’s the case, why don’t we make these calls more often?

Every now and then, make it a point to call people in your network simply to ask how they’re doing and to offer your support and encouragement. That’s right. Call just because you care - and because that’s the way you’d like to be treated.

8. Take advantage of everyday opportunities to meet people. You can make excellent contacts just about anywhere – at the health club or on line at the supermarket. You never know from what seed your next valuable relationship will sprout.

9. Treat every person as important - not just the “influential” ones. Don’t be a snob. The person you meet (whether or not they’re the boss) may have a friend or relative who can benefit from your product or service. So, when speaking to someone at a meeting or party, give that person your undivided attention.

And please promise me that you won’t be one of those who gazes around looking for “more important people” to talk to. That really bugs me. You’re talking with someone and then he notices someone out of the corner of his eye - someone he deems more important than you! So he stops listening to you... and abruptly breaks away to start a conversation with that other person. Don’t do that! Treat every person you encounter with dignity and respect.

10. At meetings and seminars, make it a point to meet different people. Don’t sit with the same group at every gathering. While it’s great to talk with friends for part of the meeting, you’ll reap greater benefits if you make the extra effort to meet new faces.

11. Be willing to go beyond your comfort zone. For instance, if you have the urge to introduce yourself to someone, DO IT! You might hesitate, thinking that the person is too important or too busy to speak with you. Even if you’re nervous, force yourself to move forward and make contact. You’ll get more comfortable as time goes on.

12. Ask for what you want. By helping others, you’ve now earned the right to request assistance yourself. Don’t be shy. As long as you’ve done your best to serve those in your network, they’ll be more than willing to return the favor.

FOLLOW-UP

13. Send a prompt note after meeting someone for the first time. Let’s say you attend a dinner and make anew contact. Send a short note as soon as possible explaining how much you enjoyed meeting and talking with him or her. Enclose some of your own materials and perhaps include information that might be of interest to this person (such as the name of a trade magazine and a subscription card). Ask if there’s anything you can do to assist this individual. Be sure to send the note within 48 hours after your initial meeting so that it’s received while you’re still fresh in your contact’s mind.

14. Acknowledge powerful presentations or articles. If you hear an interesting presentation or read a great article, send a note to the speaker or writer and tell him or her how much you enjoyed and learned from their message. One person in a hundred will take the time to do this -be the one who does!

15. When you receive a referral or helpful written materials, ALWAYS send a thank you note or call to express your appreciation. Follow this suggestion only if you want to receive more referrals and more useful information. If you don’t acknowledge that person sufficiently, he or she will be much less likely to assist you in the future.

16. Send congratulatory cards and letters. If someone in your network gets a promotion, award or celebrates some other occasion (for example, a marriage or birth of a child) write a short note of congratulations. Everyone loves to be recognized, yet very few people take the time to do this. Being thoughtful in this manner can only make you stand out. It’s also appropriate to send a card or memorial gift when a family member dies.

Building Your Network

The networking suggestions offered above are merely the tip of the iceberg. You should be able to come up with several new ideas of your own. How? By going to your library or bookstore and seeking out the many excellent books on networking... and by noticing what other people are doing and adapting their ideas in a way that suits you. Remember that networks are built over time and that significant results usually don’t show up immediately. So be patient! Build a solid foundation of relationships and continue to expand and strengthen them. You’ll have to put in a lot before you begin reaping the big rewards. One final point: Great networking skills are not a substitute for being excellent in your field. You might be a terrific PR person, but if you aren’t talented at what you do - and constantly learning and improving - your efforts will yield disappointing results.

Now, go ahead! Select a few of these networking techniques and implement them right away. Get to work serving and improving your network. Then you will truly have an army of troops working to help you succeed!

 

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